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Where Does Forever Lazy Fit in Your Dress Code Policy?

December 19, 2011 in From Other Blog

C’mon, you know you want one. And you just know that your fellow HR Business Parters secretly wear them every weekend.

What’s stopping you from adding Forever Lazy to “acceptable clothing” in your Dress Code Policy?

As comedian Stephen Wright said, “Hard work pays off in the long run, but laziness pays off immediately.”

Click here to see the Forever Lazy Commercial


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When Wellness Messages Go Bad: Chewing the Fat

December 19, 2011 in From Other Blog

You’re too fat.

Think your employees want to hear that? Is that really what you want to say to them in your wellness messaging? Maybe you should read Hello, I Am Fat to find out the effect it has on people. Writer Lindy West says:

I get that you think you’re actually helping people and society by contributing to the fucking Alp of shame that crushes every fat person every day of their lives—the same shame that makes it a radical act for me to post a picture of my body and tell you how much it weighs. But you’re not helping. Shame doesn’t work. Diets don’t work. Shame is a tool of oppression, not change.

And she points out that maybe, just for a second, we might want to step back and think about how that You’re Too Fat message is going over with your employees. She pokes a hole in the fake altruism:

You are not concerned about my health. Because if you were concerned about my health, you would also be concerned about my mental health, which has spent the past 28 years being slowly eroded by statements like the above. Also, you don’t know anything about my health. You do happen to be the boss of me, but you are not the doctor of me. You have no idea what I eat, how much I exercise, what my blood pressure is, or whether or not I’m going to get diabetes. Not that any of that matters, because it is entirely none of your business.

“But but but my insurance premiums!!!” Bullshit. You live in a society with other people. I don’t have kids, but I pay taxes that fund schools. The idea that we can somehow escape affecting each other is deeply conservative. Barbarous, even. Is that really what you’re going for? Good old-fashioned American individualism? Please.

Something to think about when you’re writing your wellness messages. Want diversity? Get a fat person and a smoker together and have them write your wellness messages. My guess is that they’d think more about root causes. And they’d focus on underlying elements of poor health, like the accumulation of stress over a lifetime.

Chew on that.


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Philadelphia School District Looking for a New Chief Talent Officer

December 19, 2011 in From Other Blog

The Philadelphia School District is looking for a new head of HR. Ours got fired. Accused of malfeasance. Philly.com writes:

The school district’s chief talent development officer was escorted from district headquarters yesterday after an investigation found that her son was hired for two jobs he was unqualified for and she took it upon herself to give a group of workers raises, sources told the Daily News.

Here’s a couple of notes to the next head of HR at the District: 1) Don’t hire unqualified relatives, and 2) Don’t give out bonuses to your friends while firing a bunch of other teachers. Other than that, please feel free to be as corrupt as other administrators in the Philadelphia School District.

Come to think of it…I think I might like to have that job for a couple of years. My slogan: Kick ass, not kickbacks.


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The Beach Boys Were Way Ahead of the Wellness Craze

November 20, 2011 in From Other Blog

The Beach Boys recorded Vegetables in 1967. They were way out in front of the wellness craze. (Well, Brian Wilson didn’t quite get into wellness.)

Back in the Sugary 60s, when Honey Crisps were called Super Sugar Crisps, The Beach Boys were helping Rhonda get healthy by encouraging her to eat her vegetables. (Little piece of trivia: That’s Paul McCartney chewing on a piece of celery in the song. No kidding. The Beach Boys said, “Help!” and The Cute Beatle responded.)

You can listen to Vegetables here.


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Somebody You Want to Hire

November 20, 2011 in From Other Blog

You want to hire right? Hire people who get knocked down and get up again. The runner in this video is somebody I’d like to work with.


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The Words. The Words. The Words.

November 20, 2011 in From Other Blog

Good communication starts with good writing. It’s why I love this quote:

That’s all we have, finally, the words, and they had better be the right ones.
Raymond Carver


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Think You Really Know Your Employees?

November 9, 2011 in From Other Blog

You can test. You can check their social media usage. You can ask all kinds of questions.

But how much do you really know your employees? Ever think that for the most part you just know the surface? How about looking a little deeper than skin deep?

(If you can’t see the video, click here.)


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How Long Should Your HR Communications Be?

November 9, 2011 in From Other Blog

Length of the Gettysburg Address: 270 words at most (depends on the version)

Length of Imagine by John Lennon: 3 minutes 3 seconds (on the album Imagine)

Length of your stuff: Too dang long.

Shakespeare’s “Brevity is the soul of wit” was apt in Hamlet. Moreso now. They didn’t have smart phones in 1602. Nor the attention spans of goldfish.

Here’s how long your HR communications should be: Much shorter than they are. Videos: No more than 3 minutes. Memos: No more than 3 paragraphs.


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Where Was HR? The Penn State Edition

November 9, 2011 in From Other Blog

Question: What the hell kind of culture makes winning more important than doing a smack down on a child molester?

Ask Joe Paterno at Penn State.

I know that won’t win me any friends in Pennsylvania, but I tell you, I am disgusted. Here’s what’s got me raging:

The defensive coordinator for Penn State’s 1982 and 1986 national championship teams, Sandusky, 67, who retired after the 1999 season, was arrested Saturday and charged with multiple counts of involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, corruption of minors, endangering the welfare of a child, indecent assault and unlawful conduct with a minor, as well as single counts of aggravated indecent assault and attempted indecent assault.

Disgusting. Even more disgusting, that the boss, Joe Paterno, the head of the football program, thought he did his job by telling someone else instead of doing something about it. I can tell you this…anyone tells me that someone who works for me was performing sex acts on a ten-year-old at the office or raped a pre-teen boy in the shower and I don’t just go tell someone. After I punch the perpetrator in the throat, I dial 911.

Joe Paterno said earlier Sunday that he behaved responsibly when he told university officials that his former defensive coordinator, Sandusky, had been seen showering with a young boy in 2002. He said he didn’t know Sandusky allegedly had abused the child.

“While I did what I was supposed to with the one charge brought to my attention, like anyone else involved, I can’t help but be deeply saddened these matters are alleged to have occurred,” he said.

Yeah, he’s saddened. What kind of culture makes a person saddened instead of sickened?

From an article in the Nov. 7, 2011 edition of the Philadelphia Inquirer:

In 2000, according to the grand jury, a janitor at the complex went to his boss, shaken one night after seeing Sandusky performing a sex act on a boy he estimated to be between 11 and 13.

The shift supervisor testified that the janitor, Jim Calhoun, was so distraught he feared Calhoun “was going to have a heart attack.” Calhoun and his fellow workers were all new employees and feared they might lose their jobs if they reported the alleged incident to authorities. So they did not.

Calhoun and his fellow workers were all new employees and feared they might lose their jobs if they reported the alleged incident to authorities. So they did not.

What kind of culture makes it a choice to either a) report that a young boy was being molested by a coach, or b) keep your job?

It’s HR’s job to get this right. Not a little right. Not an it’s-in-the-policy-manual right. Right. Goddam right. Morally right.

I’m sure there will be all kinds of sensitivity seminars at Penn State now. There will be people who deliver that training with all sincerity.

You know what will make a difference? Never letting winning be more important than morality. How about standing up for that? How about standing up for what’s right? How about dropping the hammer on those who covered this up for years? How about making it clear to every single employee of the Penn State Univeristy system that it doesn’t have to be in the policy manual to do the right thing?

If I were helping them craft a policy it would read like this: You don’t get to let sexual assault go unreported. Ever. That means children. Adults. Students. No one. Not once. You’ll lose your job if you cover it up or let it go. And if you do report it, you’ll be thanked. More importantly, you’ll know you’ve done the right thing. That’s what we’ll stand for from now on.

If you’re in HR there’s no more important job than setting the tone of the company. Your job is about the people. Real people. And if you ever forget that for a single second and think that profit matters more…well, go away. Far away. I’m not kidding about punching child molesters and those who cover it up in the throat.


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.Net Developer Jobs – Lots of ‘em

September 23, 2011 in From Other Blog

The Microsoft sign at the entrance of the Germ...

Image via Wikipedia

So, Microsoft. Great platform, well supported, and lots of buzz around Windows 8. And – lots of need for developers with expertise in Microsoft technologies right now around Boston. If you’re passionate about the technology, get in touch. I’m working with two clients you should talk with.

One of them is the most elite MS-tech focused consulting firms in the Microsoft universe (seriously – people like Rocky Lhotka call Magenic home). They’re brought in to do the hard stuff - continuous greenfield development in special-forcesesque development teams that work onsite with clients in and around Boston.

The other is focused on product development using .NET, and they are _booming_. 10% growth during the recession, 20% this year. Over 800 employees, privately held, and on a gorgeous riverside campus north of Boston in a coastal town. Green buildings, amazing quality of life, and engineering focused.

The tech experience I’m looking for runs the gamut from .NET 4.0 to C#, ADO.NET to Silverlight, SharePoint to SQL Server. BizTalk Server development to – oh, hell. You get it. If you like to build stuff, with Microsoft tech, I can probably help you do it in a better place than where you work now. Get in touch, and let’s get busy. Here’s how to reach me: martin@talentmatchup.com